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Hugot Lines sa Quarantine

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Halos tatlong buwan na po ang quarantine sa Pilipinas. Nabubuwang na ba kayo? Sige ituloy-tuloy na natin ang magpakabuwang. Heto po ang mga hugot lines sa quarantine:

Ang tagal na nitong quarantine, sana matapos na. Para makalabas na ako at magkita na ulit tayo. Pero ang masakit kahit wala ng quarantine, hindi ka pa rin akin, at wala pa ring tayo.

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Dahil po sa COVID-19 ay panatilihin lang nating dumistansiya. Lalo na kung hindi naman ikaw ang kanyang mahal.

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Ang tagal ko rin naghintay ng ayuda at ng mga relief goods. Pero buti pa ang ayuda, dumating kahit na nade-delay. Ang hinihintay kong pag-ibig, wala pa rin. Hanggang sa dulo na lang ng walang hanggan ako maghihintay.

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Sabi nila para makaiwas sa pagkalat ng corona virus ay magsuot ng mask kapag lalabas. Pero naiinggit ako sa mask mo, laging nakalapat sa iyong mga pisngi at nakadampi sa iyong mga labi. Sana ako na lang ang iyong mask.

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Payo nila lagi raw maghugas ng kamay o kaya ay magpahid ng alkohol. Diyan magaling yung mahal ko. Siya na nga ang may ginawang mali, naghuhugas kamay pa rin. Lagi na lang nagmamalinis.

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Ang tagal nang walang pasok. Miss na miss ko na ang classroom. Sa classroom may batas. Bawal lumabas, oh, bawal lumabas. Pero pag nag-comply ka……….teka, teka, iba na yata ‘yon. Sorry po.

Take two:

Ang tagal nang walang pasok. Kailan kaya ulit magkakapasok? Pero hindi na bale, lagi ka namang pumapasok sa aking alaala. Ako kaya, pumapasok din ba sa iyong isipan?

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Wala naman akong ubo. Wala rin akong lagnat. Wala naman akong virus at hindi rin naman siguro ako mukhang virus. Pero bakit lagi ka na lang umiiwas? Dinadahilan mo na lang lagi ang quarantine.

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Buti pa ang mga komunidad naka-lock down. Bakit ‘yung mahal ko, kami na nga pero hindi ko pa rin siya ma-lock down? Labas pa rin ng labas at panay pa rin ang papansin niya sa iba.

Champagnebloggen: 2008 Damien Hugot Millésime

Tulad ng champagne na ito, “Daming Hugot” pa. Hanggang sa susunod na lang ulit at sana makalaya na tayo sa hugot…..este, sa quarantine.

(*photo from the net)


Hugot Lines sa Doctor’s Office

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Mahal kong mga readers, heto na naman po ang bagong installment ng mga hugot. Kung merong Hugot Cafe, welcome naman po kayo dito sa Hugot Clinic.

Duktor: (Habang iniineksyunan ng local anesthesia ang pasyente para sa simpleng operasyon) O Hija, konting kirot lang ang injection na’to, pero pampamanhid ito at walang ka nang mararamdaman pagkatapos.

Pasyente: Kahit wala ng anesthesia Doc. Sanay na akong masaktan. Manhid na manhid na nga ako.

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Duktor: (Habang tinatanggal ang bondage sa sugat ng pasyente) Magaling at tuyo na ang sugat mo dito sa iyong braso.

Pasyente: Pero ang sugat sa puso ko Doc, hindi pa rin gumagaling. May band-aid ba para dun?

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Pasyente: Doc, ang pait naman ng nireseta n’yong gamot.

Duktor: Ganyan talaga, ang mapapait na karanasan ang magpapalakas sa iyo.

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Pasyente: Doc, may gamot ba kayo sa constipation? Hindi ko kasi mailabas-labas ang mga sama ng loob ko.

Duktor: Namputcha, hindi laxative ang kailangan mo. Halika, daanin na lang natin sa maboteng usapan.

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Pasyente: Doc, ano po ba ang sanhi ng madaling mapagod?

Duktor: Baka may cardiomyopathy o kaya ay heart failure. Sige, i-check-up na kita.

Pasyente: Hindi po ako, ‘yung boyfriend ko. Sabi niya ayaw na niya, kasi raw pagod na ang puso niya.

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Pasyente: Doc, meron pa bang lunas ang kalagayan ko? Lagi na lang akong pinapaasa.

Duktor: Naku ‘Te, wala ng pag-asa. Walang gamot sa tanga.

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Pasyente: Doc, feeling ko ako si Invisible Man. Kasi andito lang naman ako, pero bakit hindi niya ako nakikita. Hindi pa rin ako pinapansin.

Duktor: Next patient please!

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Duktor: Bumibigat ka. Kailangan mong tumakbo at mag-exercise.

Pasyente: Pero Doc, sabi ng misis ko takbo na raw ako ng takbo.

Duktor: Engot ka pala eh, hindi exercise yung tumatakbo sa responsibilidad.

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Pasyente: Doc, hirap na hirap po akong gumising.

Duktor: Ah, baka may narcolepsy ka. Sige, resitahan kita ng stimulant.

Pasyente: Magigising po ba ako sa katotohanan sa gamot na yan Doc?

Duktor: Ah meron din gamot diyan…….tadyak!

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Duktor: (Habang pinapakinggan ang baga ng pasyente) O clear naman ang tunog ng mga baga mo.

Pasyente: Pero Doc, sumisikip ang dibdib ko at hirap pa rin akong huminga. Lalo na kapag naaalala ko ang kumag na iyon.

Duktor: Teka, hindi Pulmonologist ang kailangan mo kundi Psychotherapist.

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Pasyente: Doc, may gamot ba para magka-amnesia? Gusto ko lang kasing kalimutan na siya.

Duktor: Ah, may mabisa akong gamot diyan. Heto, inumin mo na ang tabletang ito.

Pasyente: (ininom ang gamot)

Duktor: O eto na ang iyong doctor’s bill.

Pasyente: Ano ho ito? At sino ho kayo?

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Duktor: (Matapos i-test and vision ng pasyente) Wala namang diperensiya ang mata mo Hijo. 20/20 nga ang vision mo.

Pasyente: Pero Doc, sabi ng mga kaibigan ko nabubulag daw ako.

Duktor: Ah, meron din kaming lunas diyan: kontra-gayuma. Pero meron ding mas mura…….batok!

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Duktor: Hindi mabuti kung lagi mo na lang pinipigilan. Kahit ano pa man ang sabihin ng iba, mas giginhawa ka kung iyo na itong bibitiwan at papakawalan.

Pasyente: Pero Doc, hindi ko po talaga kaya.

Duktor: Kabag ang tinutukoy ko. Dapat itong pakawalan at iutot.

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Pasyente: Doc, ayaw ko na pong maging sanitary napkin.

Duktor: Huh? Anong ibig mong sabihin?

Pasyente: Kasi ginagawa lang akong panakip butas.

Duktor: Kahit ganyan ang kalagayan mo, taas noo pa rin. Dahil pwede pa rin “with wings.”

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Hanggang sa susunod na Hugot sessions na lang muli. Making Hugot like a Boss.

(*images from the web, all other materials are original)

Quirky Talk

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Recently I read from a fellow Filipino blogger about how hard it is to learn Mandarin due to different intonations. She also mentioned that our own language has similar quirkiness. So I am re-posting a story I concocted 5 years ago. Besides, it is “Buwan ng Wika.”

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A foreigner arrived in the Philippines and was observing how the locals talk.

After she checked-in in her hotel room, she planned to go outside, so she headed to the elevator. While waiting, a mother and her toddler son were also waiting for the elevator.

The toddler tugged on his mother and said:

Child: Dede!

Mother: Dedede?

Child: Dede.

Then the mother handed his son the milk bottle.

When the elevator door opened the mother asked the lady inside the elevator:

Mother: Bababa ba?

Lady: Bababa.

So the mother and her child hopped inside the elevator. The foreigner hopped in too.

The mother marveled at the lady’s colorful manicured nails in the elevator and wondered if it’s real. The lady seemed to understand her inquisitive look, and said with a smile:

Lady: Kuko ko.

The mother smiled back and replied: Oh, oo.

After a couple of floors down, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. A man outside asked:

Man: Bababa ba?

Bababa.” The two ladies inside chimed.

What a fascinating language these locals speak, the foreigner thought to herself. How can they communicate with each other by just repeating one syllable?

As the elevator doors closed, the toddler tugged again on his mother and whispered:

Son: Pupupu po.

Mother: Pupupu?

Son: Pupu.

Soon a certain smell reeked inside the elevator, luckily it reached the ground floor and the passengers hurried to go out. As the elevator door opened the foreigner tried to break the ice with the locals. She said to them with an amusing grin:

Foreigner: Dadadada.

The locals looked at her baffled? Of course they did not understand her. They just shook their heads and under their breath they uttered: Gaga.

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(*image from the net)

Pinoytransplant Jumpman

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With the resumption of the NBA and with the playoffs in full swing, there’s something for me to watch again. I don’t watch much TV, except for basketball. Of course there was the series of “The Last Dance,” a documentary about Michael Jordan’s last year with the Chicago Bulls that was aired when the NBA was on hiatus. But that’s different from the live game action, so I only saw a few of that docuseries.

Michael Jordan by the way elevated Nike to what an empire it is now. When Air Jordan brand was released and exploded in popularity when I was in college, I envy those ‘rich’ kids who wore those kicks. Jordan’s photo that was taken before the 1984 Summer Olympics is the Nike’s Jumpman logo. That silhouette image is iconic but also controversial, as the photographer who took that photo sued Nike for rights infringement.

Well, Pinoytransplant has it’s own Jumpman version and I hope there’s no controversy here. Below are some samplings:

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2012, by a beach in the Philippines
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2017, by the Mediterranean Sea in Israel
2020, near Lake Superior, USA

I have used the first photo for the longest time as my profile picture for this blog. That photo was not planned and was taken on a whim, but it was a great capture. Since then I was taking these signature jump shots. Should I have my own brand?

My hops are getting lower and I don’t know how many more years I would still be able to do these jump shots. Maybe the next series would be jumping with a walking cane. Or not.

(*photos taken by my wife; all rights ‘not’ reserved)

Idadaan Na Lang Sa Gitara

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Noong makalawang araw ay nakikinig ako ng mga tugtuging Pilipino sa Spotify nang sumalang ang kanta ng Parokya ni Edgar:

Hahayaan na lang silang
Magkandarapa na manligaw sa 'yo,
Idadaan na lang kita
Sa awitin kong ito,
Sabay ang tugtog ng gitara,
Idadaan na lang sa gitara.
Idadaan na lang sa gitara.

Biglang sumagi sa aking isipan ang mga alaala ng ako’y kabataan pa at ang aking mga kabarkada na mahilig mag-gitara.

Hindi ako natutong mag-gitara. Alam ko lang tipahin ang chord na C, D, at A. Pero kapag mahirap na, gaya ng Badd9 o C#sus, ay naku Bad talaga, o sus as in susmaryosep na!

Kahit hindi ako marunong mag-gitara, marami akong naging kaibigan na mga gitarista. Noong nasa high school kami, ilan sa mga kabarkada ko ay mahuhusay mag-gitara. Sabit na lang ako sa kanila kapag kantahan na. Mga paborito naming awitin ang mga kanta ng Eagles, America, at Bread. Sa mga Pilipinong grupo naman ay ang Asin at Apo Hiking Society. Hindi pa pinapanganak ang Eraserheads noong high school kami. Kahit mahirap tugtugin ay kayang-kaya ng mga kaibigan ko, tulad ng mga kanta ni Jim Croce – sabi nila sobrang hirap daw gitarahin ang mga kanta niya.

Dahil mahilig kaming kumanta, pinakanta pa ang aking barkada sa Junior-Senior Prom. Maayos naman ang aming awit at hindi kami binato ng kamatis at hindi rin nabilaukan ang mga kumakain.

Tayong mga Pilipino ay mahilig kumanta at mag-gitara. Bago pa nauso ang mga Karaoke, Minus 1 at Magic Mic ay nagkakantahan na tayong mga Pinoy, basta mayroong nag-gigitara. Ang mga inuman sa kanto ay nagiging sing-along kapag mayroon ng nag-gigitara.

Uso rin noon ang mga harana. Ulit, kanta ng Parokya ni Edgar:

Uso pa ba ang harana?
Marahil ikaw ay nagtataka,
Sino ba 'tong mukhang gago?
Nagkandarapa sa pagkanta,
At nasisintunado sa kaba.

Bakit nga ba nawala na ang harana. Ngayon, sa Facebook messenger at text na lang ang ligawan, hindi tulad noong araw na tunay na umaakyat ng ligaw ang isang lalaki at kasama pa ang kanyang tropa at sila’y aawit ng mga harana. Siyempre may kasamang gitarista.

Maraming mga Pilipino ang natututong mag-gitara kahit walang pormal na guitar lessons. Nanonood lang sa mga nag-gigitara ay nahahawa na rin sila sa hilig at husay.

May kapatid ang aking misis, na bago pa raw ito makapagsalita ng tuwid ay marunong na itong mag-gitara dahil sa pagmamasid lang. Hindi pa siya pumapasok sa Kindergarten ay magaling nang tumugtog ng gitara. Ang paborito niyang tugtugin noon ay “Pordidem Deyms,” kasi hindi niya pa raw mabigkas ‘yung “Forbidden Games” (classical guitar piece also known as Jeux Interdits or Romance).

Kahit na nang nasa medical school na ako, may kaibigan ulit akong magaling mag-gitara. Minsan nuong 4th year medical student na kami at duty kami sa hospital, ay nagkantahan pa rin kami. May napagaling ba kaming mga pasyente sa aming kanta? “Utol” ang tawag ko sa kaibigan kong ito, dahil parehas kami ng apelyido. Minsan sabi sa amin ng isang Medical Resident ay magtayo raw kami ng banda. Siguro dahil mukha rin kaming mga punkista dahil sa aming buhok na spikey.

Matagal na panahon na nga ang lumipas. Nasaan na kaya ang dating barkada? Tulad ng kanta ng APO, namimiss ko ang mga panahong iyon:

Madalas ang istambay sa capetirya. Isang barkada na kay' saya,
Laging may hawak-hawak na gitara, konting udyok lamang kakanta na.....

Saan na nga ba, saan na nga ba?
Saan na napunta ang panahon.
Saan na nga ba, saan na nga ba?
Saan na napunta ang panahon.

Noong ako’y lumipad na papuntang Amerika at napadpad dito sa Iowa, ay nagkita muli kami ng isa sa aking kaeskwela noong kolehiyo na napadpad rin dito sa Iowa. Ang dating kaeskwela kong ito ay magaling din mag-gitara. Kaya ng magkatipon-tipon kami, inilabas ang mga lumang song hits at “jingle” na halos gula-gulanit na. Kami’y nagkantahang muli na parang mga kabataan ng mga awiting aming kinagisnan, hanggang sa lumalim na ang gabi.

Sana hanggang sa aking pagtanda ay may mga kaibigan pa rin akong nag-gigitara. At kahit laglag na ang mga ipin at kapos na ang hangin sa baga ay patuloy pa rin kaming magkakantahan. Sabi nga ng kanta ng Asin:

Mayro'n lang akong hinihiling,
Sa aking pagpanaw, sana ay tag-ulan,
Gitara ko ay aking dadalhin,
Upang sa ulap na lang tayo magkantahan.

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Added Joke: Pinaiyak na Gitara

Jose: Ang tiyuhin ko ang galing mag-gitara. Pinaiiyak niya ‘yung gitara.

Juan: Uy magaling nga yung tiyuhin mo, pero mas magaling yung tiyuhin ko. Hindi lang gitara ang umiiyak, pati hinaharana niya ay napa-iyak din.

Pedro: Eh wala palang sinabi yung mga tiyuhin ninyo. Yung tiyuhin ko sa galing niyang magharana at mag-gitara, ‘yung hinaharana niya ay napaiyak at napasigaw pa.

Jose at Juan: O siya nga?

Pedro: Oo, napaiyak sa galit at sinigawan na siyang tumigil na!

(*image from the web)

In Memoriam: Ang Tandang at si Uncle Tom

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I am re-posting an entry I wrote not too long ago, in memory of my American uncle who passed away yesterday.

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Ako ay may tiyuhin na Amerikano. Siya si Uncle Tom.

Tatlong dekada na ang nakalipas nang isa sa aking mga tiyahin ay nagka-penpal ng isang Amerikano. Uso pa noon ang ballpen, magsulat sa papel, at maghulog ng sulat. Matagal-tagal din silang nagkasulatan, at dumating sa yugto na gusto nilang magkita. Wala pang Facebook at FaceTime noon, kaya’t nag-planong lumipad papuntang Pilipinas ang Amerikanong penpal ng aking tiyahin.

Dahil kami ay may bahay naman sa Maynila, at para na rin tuluyang makaliskisan, este makilatis pala ang ibig kong sabihin, ang kanyang penpal, kaya pinakiusap ng aking tita na sa bahay na namin tumuloy ang Amerikano.

Itanggi man natin o hindi, marami pa rin sa atin ang nagnanais na makakilala ng isang banyaga, at mapangasawa ito. Dahil sa isip natin ito ang ating magiging pasaporte para lumisan ng bansa. At kung tayo ay medyo tag-hirap, ito ang ating pagkakataong umunlad at makaahon sa buhay. Darating kaya ang panahon na ang mga Pilipino ay hindi na mangangarap na umalis ng bansa?

Kaya nang dadalaw na ang Amerikano, hindi kami magkandaugaga sa aming paghahanda sa kanyang pagdating. Para kaming naghanda sa isang official state visit, gaya nang dumalaw si President Trump sa Pilipinas. Kulang na lang ay umarkila kami ng banda ng mga musikero at magpa-piyesta sa aming kalye sa pagsalubong sa kanya.

Lumuwas pa ng Maynila ang aming lola mula sa probinsiya at nagdala ito ng mga buhay na manok, para raw ipanghanda sa Amerikano naming bisita. Siyempre, mas masarap pa rin daw ang lasa ng native at free-range na manok. Organic pa at siguradong hindi sinaksakan ng growth hormone at antibiotic.

Isa naman sa aking tiyuhin ang sumundo mula sa airport. Hindi na ako sumama dahil puno na ang sasakyan at baka wala pang maupuan ang aming bisita. Pagkasundo sa airport, ay sa bahay na namin sa Sampaloc Manila tumuloy ang Amerikano.

Sa aking silid pinatulog ang bisita. Malaking tao pala itong Amerikano. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya nagkasya o kung naging kumportable siya sa aking munting katre. Aaminin ko medyo masikip ang aking silid, pang-Petite (Palito?) size lang ito at hindi pang-Jumbo size. Hindi ko rin alam kung naglagkit sa init ang aming bisita, dahil wala naman kaming air conditioner. Pero may bintana naman at bentilador ang aking kuwarto.

Kahit payak ang aming bahay at masikip ang aking kuwarto, ay siguro naman ay lumutang pa rin ang aming pagiging hospitable sa aming panauhin. Kung tutuusin hindi lang ang Amerikanong penpal ng tiyahin ko ang banyagang natulog sa aking munting silid. Minsan ay nagkabisita kami ng galing Papua New Guinea na tumuloy din sa aking kuwarto. Marami ring kaming mga bisitang lokal ang nanuluyan dito. Kaya puti, itim, o kayumanggi – walang kinikilingan ang aking silid.

Balikan natin ang mga manok na dala ng aking lola. Isa dito ay puting tandang, pero hindi ito pang-sabong. Dahil hindi lahat ng manok ay ihahain kaagad, kaya’t ang iba ay hinayaan munang buhay. Kasama dito ang tandang na itinali sa veranda ng aming bahay.

Unang gabi ng aming bisita, maaring pagod na pagod sa biyahe ang Amerikano, at may jet-lag pa, kaya hahayaan lang sana namin siyang matulog kahit tanghaliin pa siya ng gising. Subalit may ibang balak ang puting tandang.

Photo by Leonardo Jarro on Pexels.com

Bago pa magbukang liwayway o maaninag ang liwanag ng umaga, at bago pa magsipag-byahe ang mga traysikel ay simula nang tumilaok ang puting tandang. Walang patid at masigabo sa pagtilaok ang pesteng manok. Pumwesto pa ito malapit sa bintana ng aking kuwarto.

Hindi nagtagal ay nagising ang aming bisitang Amerikano. Galit at mainit ang ulo nito. Masama ang pagkakagising. Sino nga bang hindi mauunsiyame kung mabulabog ka sa iyong mahimbing na pagkakatulog.

Paglabas niya sa kuwarto, ay ako ang kanyang nasalubong. Sabi niya sa akin: “Where is that #&*@^! rooster, I’ll wring it’s neck!”

Sa halip na sa ilang araw pa sana kakatayin ang pobreng tandang, noong araw rin na iyon, naging tangahalian na namin ito. Nahimasmasan naman ang init ng ulo at natuwa pa ang aming panauhing pandangal, nang matikman niya ang masarap na luto na inihain namin sa kanya. Tinolang manok!

Nang malaon na ay nagkaigihan naman ang aking tita at ang kanyang penpal. Sila ay nagkataluyang magpakasal, at siya ay naging aking Uncle Tom. Hindi na nagtagal pa ay nakalipad na rin ang aking tita papuntang Amerika.

Maaring sabihin na dahil kay Uncle Tom, ay naging masuwerte ang aking tiyahin dahil siya’y nakarating ng Estados Unidos. Kahit man ako ay nabiyayaan din, dahil ang tiyahin kong ito ang isa sa tumulong sa akin sa pinansiyal nang ako’y nag-a-apply na papuntang Amerika para sa aking Medical Residency Training. Dahil sa ako’y natanggap sa isang academic hospital para mag-training, ito naman ang naging daan para ako’y makapangibang-bayan.

Noong nakaraang Pasko, maliban sa aking pagtawag sa mga kamag-anak sa Pilipinas, ay tinawagan ko rin ang aking tiyahing ito na naninirahan na sa California. Siya ang pinakamalapit kong kamag-anak dito sa Amerika. Ang California ay mahigit na tatlong oras na biyahe sa eroplano o dalawang araw na drive mula sa amin dito sa Iowa.

Sa pag-uusap namin ng aking tita ay nabanggit niya na medyo lumulubha na raw ang kalagayan ni Uncle Tom at nagiging makakalimutin na rin ito. Sa katunayan, may mga ilang taon nang may sakit si Uncle Tom. Salamat na lang kay tita na tunay na nagmamahal sa kanya, at hindi niya ito pinababayaan. Isa pa, dahil nurse ang aking tiyahin, naaalagaang lubos si Uncle Tom.

Sa aking tingin at palagay, kung naging masuwerte ang aking tiyahin, mas naging masuwerte si Uncle Tom dahil nakilala niya ang aking tita at ang aming pamilya. At hindi lang ito dahil sa nakakain siya ng tinolang manok.

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Post Note: Huwag naman sana niyang pagdisketahan ang tandang ni San Pedro. Good night Uncle Tom, see you in the glorious morning.

Christmas Morning

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I woke up at home this Christmas morning, and with Jose Marie Chan’s “This Beautiful Day” playing in the background that I am enjoying this sunrise.

On a beautiful day that I dream about,
In a world I would love to see,
Is a beautiful place where the sun comes out,
And it shines in the sky for me,
On this beautiful Christmas morning,
If my wish could come true somehow,
Then the beautiful day that I dream about,
Would be here and now.

Merry Christmas to all!

(*photo taken with an iPhone; lyrics from Jose Marie Chan’s “This Beautiful Day”)

Bahala na si Batman: Revisited

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(I’m reposting an article I wrote 9 years ago. The message still rings true today. Happy New Year everyone!)

Kumakaway-kaway ang bagong nakalambiting pahinang papel sa dingding, nagpapahiwatig na pumasok na naman tayo sa isang panibagong yugto.

Bagong kalendaryo. Bagong taon. Lumang pananaw?

Tunay na ang panahon na ginagalawan natin ngayon ay walang katiyakan. Kasing linaw ng tubig-kanal ang ating kinabukasan. Halos gumapang na parang pagong ang ekonomiya, kahit anumang bansa ang pag-usapan, kahit na sa Amerika. Naghihirap na parang daga ang maraming mamayan sa iba’t-ibang lupalop ng mundo. Walang gobyerno ang ligtas sa gulo at eskandalo. Walang sinisinong pamilya ang mga problema at kahirapan, kahit pa Dimaano o Dimagiba ang apelyido nila. Walang tao sa kasalukuyan, ang hindi apektado ng walang-kasiguraduhang bukas.

Sa kabila ng lahat ng ito, sino nga ba ang nakakaalam kung ano ang ihahatid ng bukas? Kahit pa mga manghuhula sa Quiapo, ay hindi nakatitiyak. At mayroon nga ba tayong magagawa tungkol dito? Mabuti pa kayang maghalukipkip na lamang at magpawalang bahala, at tanggapin na lamang ang anumang barahang iaabot sa atin ng tadhana. Kaya?

Bahala na.

Iyan ang katagang kinamulatan nating mga Pilipino. Ito rin ang pilosopiyang nakaukit na sa ating kulturang kinagisnan. Bahala na. Bahala na si Batman!

Pero kung susuriin, ang katagang “bahala na” ay nagmula  sa “Bathala na,” kung saan ang isang tao ay ipinauubaya na sa Maykapal ang kaniyang kapalaran. Maaring maganda naman ang saloobing ito, dahil ito’y nagpapakita ng pagtitiwala sa nakatataas na kapangyarihan. Ngunit ang masama, ay maraming mga tao ang ipinauubaya na ang lahat lahat, at hindi na nagsusumikap na ibangon o ibahin ang “kapalaran” na hatid sa kanila ng pagkakataon. Suwerte kung suwerte, malas kung malas, parang Sweepstakes.

Ika nga ng sinalumang kanta ni Rico J. Puno: “Kapalaran kung hanapin, ‘di matagpuan, at kung minsa’y lumalapit ng ‘di mo alam.” Kaya ba walang nang saysay ang habulin ang ating kapalaran dahil hindi mo rin naman ito maabutan? Sadya bang ang lahat ay nakasalalay sa “Gulong ng Palad” na parang lumang tele-serye?

Hindi ba nga’t si Juan Tamad, isa sa mga kinagigiliwang kwentong Pilipino, ay humilata na lang sa ilalim ng puno at nakangangang naghihintay na malaglag ang bayabas? Naghihintay na ang biyaya o suwerte, na mahulog na lang sa ating kandungan. Ito nga ba ang kagawiang Pinoy? Maging sa ating kanta, tele-nobela, o tradisyonal na salaysayin – bahala na.

Bahala na lang ba talaga?

Mawalang galang na lamang po, ngunit hindi ako sang-ayon sa pananaw na ito. Hindi rin ako naniniwala na wala tayong magagawa para sa ating kinabukasan, o kaya’y ibahin ang barahang tangan natin sa ating palad. Oo nga’t may mga bagay na lagpas sa ating mga kamay, at si Bathala (hindi si Batman) lamang ang may kontrol nito. Sang-ayon ako na mahalaga ang pagtitiwala sa nakatataas na kapangyarihan. Ngunit maraming mga bagay ay nasasa-ating palad, at ang magiging kahihinatnan nito’y bunga ng ating pagsisikap, at hindi lamang sanhi sa guhit ng kapalaran.

Kaya sa bagong taong ito, sana ay mayroon din tayong bagong pananaw sa buhay. Bagong pakikipagbaka. Bagong pagsisikap. Bagong pag-asa.

Bangon na aking kaibigan, ang bukas ay naghihintay sa iyo. Ang “suwerte” ay nasa pawis mo.

(*photo taken at Musée d’Orsay)

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Added feature: Bahala Na Si Batman by SOLABROS.com


Hugot Lines Sa Valentine’s

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Heto na ulit ang inyong lingkod, muli na naman pong huhugot. Ipagpaumanhin n’yo na lamang, aking panandaliang kahibangan. Utak ko kasi’y nakukurta, sa buwisit na pandemiya. Hinahandog ‘tong mga Hugot Lines, sa mga walang ka-Valentine’s.

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Buti pa ang buwan ng Pebrero, kahit na pinakamaiksi sa kalendaryo, kulang nga sa araw, pero meron namang Valentine’s. Ikaw? Linalangaw!

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Pare, Valentine’s na naman, hindi ka pa rin maka-score. Payo ko sa iyo, tennis na lang ang atupagin mo. Kahit score mo ay itlog, meron ka pa ring Love.

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Buti pa ang Pag-IBIG Fund, may pondong pwedeng ipahiram. Ang iyong pag-ibig, bankrupt na, puro pa paasa.

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Bobo ‘tong si Kupido, asintado nga, pero bakit isa lang ang pinana? Puso ko lang ang tinamaan. Ang puso mo ba, papanain din kaya niya?

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Buti pa ang palm tree sa Middle East, kahit nasa disyerto at lupang tigang, pero may dates. Hindi tulad ko, tigang na, wala pang date.

date palm

Buti pa ang patalim, kahit na nakakasugat, kinakapitan kapag nagigipit. Sa ating pag-ibig, hindi pa nagigipit, bumitaw na kaagad, wala pa ngang sugat.

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Mabuti pa ang sinaing, binabantayan at hindi maiwan-iwan. Ako? Pakulo na nang pakulo, umaapaw na nga, pero hindi mo pa rin pinapansin.

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Buti pa sa funeraria, maraming nagpapadala ng bulaklak. Eh ikaw, iyak ka na nang iyak, wala ka pa ring bulaklak.

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Sana ang puso ay kagaya ng puso ng saging. Kahit na biniyak at tinadtad, pero ginagata at linalasap. Hindi tulad ng aking puso, biniyak, tinadtad, tapos ibinasura mo lang.

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Buti pa ang chocolates, may Kisses. Ikaw, wala ng chocolates, wala pang kisses. Payo ko, Mars chocolate, ikaw ay kumuha. Kasi ang mahal mo, nasa ibang planeta. Puwede rin ‘yung “M&M” – puro Muntik-Muntik lang.

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Huling hugot:

Pero sa totoo lang po, ang Valentine’s ay hindi lang para sa may mga jowa. Ito ay para sa lahat ng nagmahal, nagmamahal, minahal, minamahal, at kahit na sa hindi kamahal-mahal. Kaya sige lang, hayaan mong maglayag ang iyong pag-ibig. Kahit pa hindi ito babalik.

Ika nga ni Alfred Lord Tennison, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

(*photos from the web; but all Hugots are original)

Salamin: Isang Repleksiyon

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Isang taon na naman ang idinagdag sa pahina ng aklat ng aking buhay. Oo, makapal na ang librong ito. Subalit sa buhay, ayaw mong maging maikling kwento, mas pipiliin mong maging mahabang nobela.

Ipagdiriwang pa rin ba ang kaarawan kung ikaw ay gurang na at hindi na bata?

Ako ay nasa yugto na ng buhay na ang aming pugad ay mawawalan na ng laman (empty nest). Tunay na may bahid ng kalungkutan dahil lilisan nang lahat ng aming supling at kami ay iiwanan na. Ngunit ganoon daw talaga ang buhay. Ang ating mga anak ay panandalian lang na ipinahiram sa atin. Ang responsibilidad natin ay ihanda sila at turaang maglayag na mag-isa. Masaya naman kami dahil sa matayog na silang lumipad.

Nakakalungkot ding isipin na hindi na magtatagal ay pagreretiro na ang tatambad na katotohanan sa akin. Matatapos na ang mga produktibong bahagi ng aking mga taon. Hindi maiwasang itanong ko sa aking sarili- naatim ko na ba ang nais kong maatim? Ano ba ang pamana at pangalang aking iiwan?

Totoo nga kayang nananaog na ang araw sa tugatog ng kanyang kinaluluklukan sa langit? Tapos na nga ba ang tag-araw at pumapasok na ang tag-lagas, at hindi magtatagal ay tag-ginaw na? Talaga bang lipas na ang kasigasigan ng lakas at dahan-dahan nang humuhupa ang mga ningas at baga sa apoy ng buhay? Hindi po tungkol sa pangangailangan ng Viagra ang tinutukoy ko dito.

Kung ang softdrink ay nawawalan ng espiritu, at ang chicharon ay nagiging makunat, at ang fishball ay nawawalan ng alsa, ang hopia ay inaamag, ang pahina ng aklat ay naninilaw, ang damo ay natutuyo, ang damit ay naluluma, ang kanta ay nalalaos, ang sayaw ay natatapos, ang tao rin kaya? Wala talagang forever.

Aking pinagmasdan ang repleksiyon na nasa salamin. Mabuti pa ang selfie, pwedeng may filter. At kahit ang video conferencing, pwedeng gumamit ng face filter app. Ang salamin wala. Brutal ang katotohanang nakaharap sa akin.

Nababakas na ang pinsala ng maraming taon sa aninong aking kaharap. Linaspag at pinagsamantalahan na ito ng panahon. May mga lukot na parang lumang diyaryo ang mukha. Malapad na tila paliparan ang noo. At may mala-maletang eyebag sa ilalim ng mga mata. Hindi totoong kalabaw lang ang tumatanda.

Totoo, desisyon ko na sumabak sa “stressful” na propesyong ito. Walang pumilit sa akin na magtrabaho sa mahirap at seryosong lugar gaya ng ICU. Pinili ko na makipagtungali sa mabigat na kalaban at makipagpatintero kay kamatayan. Maraming mga gabi na ako’y naglalamay at salat na salat ako sa tulog. Madalas na lagi akong humahangos dahil sa kaabalahan at malimit na walang matinong agahan o tanghalian at minamadali ang pagkain. Maraming panahon na mabigat ang mga desisyong kailangang gawin at para bagang pasan ko ang daigdig.

Sa kabila ng ito, wala akong panghihinayang sa pinili kong landas na tahakin. Akin na lang naisip na may mga bagay naman sa mundo na tumataas ang halaga sa paglipas ng panahon. Kagaya ng patubuan na utang na sa pagdaan ng maraming taon ay lumalaki ang interes. O kaya naman ay tulad ng alak na lalong tumatamis habang tumatanda. May mga keso rin na habang gumugulang at inaamag ay lalong lumilinamnam. At tulad rin ng mga pinamanang alahas na sa paglipas ng panahon ay lalong tuma-Tambunting, este….tumataginting ang halaga.

Kaya sa aninong nakatitig sa akin, ay akin na lamang itong aaliwin na sa bawat buhok na nalagas, ay may katumbas naman itong mga buhay na natulungan at na-isalba. Sa bawat kunot ng noo, ay patunay lamang ng mga suliraning aming napagtagumpayan. Sa bawat guhit sa pisngi, at kulubot sa sulok ng mga mata, ay tanda ng mga kasiyahan at ngiti na aking naranasan. At sa bawat puting buhok na umuusbong, ay sinyales ng mga karanasan na nagdagdag sa akin ng karunungan.

Akin pa ring ipagbubunyi ang aking gulang.

(*selfie was taken at The Hall of Mirrors in Chateau de Versailles)

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Post Note: WordPress sent a notification to me that this is my 1000th post on this blog. That is another milestone and something to celebrate too.

Pineapple Tale Revisited

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(I would like to repost an article I wrote 6 years ago, several months before my mother passed on.)

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During my last visit to the Philippines, I had a long talk with my mother. Not trying to be morbid, and in fact she was still in good condition, but with her advancing age I just asked her what her wishes were if in case she would be put to rest. She told me what her wishes were, but also told me parts of a story that I have never heard before…..

Almost 100 years ago, there was young man in Ilocos Norte who joined a wave of Ilocano migrants to Hawaii in search of a better future. It was during the time of one of the largest Filipino migration to Hawaii. Muscular and strong, he was picked to work in a pineapple plantation in Hawaii.

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Hawaii plantation in 1900’s (photo courtesy of Hawaii state archives)

However after a few years of hard labor in the plantation, with long hours under the Hawaiian heat – homesick and longing for the love of his life that he left behind – he decided to go back home to the Philippines. Whether it was a wise or unwise decision, who are we to judge?

Once back home he married his childhood sweetheart. He was determined not to return to Hawaii, but rather try his fortune back in his hometown. He started building a house in Sarrat, Ilocos Norte for his family.

He worked incessantly, and one day while working on the house that he is erecting, he suddenly collapsed. The older folks said he suffered from “pasma,” but the doctor in me think it was something else, though I just cannot be sure what. He did not really recover after that and died shortly thereafter. He was in his late 20’s.

He left a grieving young widow who was 8 months pregnant with their first baby. That baby was my mother.

My mother was born and she grew up without knowing her father. She did not even know what her father look like. All she had were the stories from her mother of how wonderful and loving her father was.

My mother pursued her own dream despite of their “unlucky” situation, so she made good in her studies.

On the day of her high school graduation, a supposedly happy occasion, she arrived home and found her mother slumped on the floor and unable to speak. She most likely suffered a devastating stroke. She died several weeks later, and left my mother a complete orphan at a young age.

My mother was still able to go to college with the help of her aunt and uncle who unofficially adopted her. She later earned a bachelor degree in education.

After finishing college, my mother took teaching assignments and taught elementary in different provinces. She was assigned in Baler, Quezon and stayed there for a couple of years. When she transferred to Norzagaray, Bulacan as a teacher, she met a handsome young man there. That was my father.

They fell in love and eventually got married. They moved to Sampaloc, Manila where they raised their family, and the rest was history.

I have no photos of my grandfather. Not even a grave to visit where his remains lies, as my mother told me that he was buried in a piece of land that the government subsequently bought and turned into a road. What road or highway was it, my mother was not sure.

We have no memorabilia of his existence. All I have is this story of a man whose likeness I most likely bear, as many say that I am a spitting image of my mother, and who knows, perhaps of my grandfather too.

My grandfather had no idea that one of his seeds will one day make his way back to America. Though not in the pineapple plantation of Hawaii, but settling around the cornfields of Iowa. Not as an unskilled laborer, but as a highly trained physician. He gave up his American dream, but in a happy twist of fate, it led the way for me to chase mine. I have migrant blood in me after all.

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Dole pineapple plantation in Hawaii (photo taken during our visit)

About two years ago, I had the opportunity to visit Hawaii with my wife and kids. We even visited the Dole pineapple plantation and ate some pineapple ice cream there. Never did I knew at that time, that part of my roots came from that place.

Pineapple is one of my children’s favorite fruit. They like to eat it as is, or mixed in a fruit salad, or as fruit drink, or even as a topping in their pizza. Maybe their great-grandfather liked it too. Or maybe he hated it, and hated it so much that he left the plantation.

But I’m glad he left the pineapple plantation and went back home. Thus this story exists. And I exist to tell this story.

Lumang Barberya

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Malapit sa aming lugar dito sa Iowa ay merong isang lumang barberya na pag-aari ng isang matandang barbero. Kamakailan lang ay nagretiro na si Mang Jerry, na may ari ng establisementong ito. Siya ay mahigit walumpung (80) taon gulang na. Pumalit sa kanya ay dalawang mas bata-batang barbero. Ngunit hindi nila binago ang ‘nostalgic’ na itsura ng lumang barberya.

Kapag tumuntong ka kasi sa loob ng barberyang ito ay para kang nasa ‘time warp,’ at ikaw ay nasa era ng 1960’s.

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photo taken with iPhone

Napabalik tanaw tuloy ako sa mas lumang barberya na aking kinagisnan, kung saan ako nagpapagupit noong ako’y bata pa. Ito ay nasa probinsiya ng aking tatay, sa Norzagaray, Bulacan.

Ang barberya ay nasa tabi ng maliit na sari-sari store na pag-aari rin ng pamilya ng barbero. Hindi semento o tabla ang sahig, kundi pinatag na lupa. Ang dingding ay mga tinapyas na kawayan at lagus-lagusan ang hangin sa mga siwang ng dingding. May malalaking salamin naman sa harap at sa likod ng silid para makita mo ang iyong sarili habang ikaw ay ginugupitan. Iisa lang ang upuan ng barberya dahil isa lang ang barbero.

Kahit luma ang mga gamit na gunting at labaha ay matatalim naman ito. Sa isang nakasabit na balat na sinturon kung saan hinahagod-hagod muna ang labaha bago niya ito gamitin. Meron ding kahoy na parang sangkalan na nasa pasimano kung saan din kinikiskis ang gunting at labaha. Napipilitan akong hindi maglikot kapag ginugupitan ako ni mamang barbero, baka kasi matapyas niya ang tenga ko.

May laging nakasampay na malaking kalendaryo sa isang bahagi ng dingding ng barberya. Nasa kalendaryo ay larawan ng kabigha-bighaning mga babae na litaw na pati kaluluwa. Kalendaryo yata ng Tanduay ito, na alam kong hanggang ngayon ay naglalabas pa rin sila ng mga kalendaryo. May iba pang mga larawan na nakasabit sa barberya na gigising sa mga inosenteng damdamin at kay Pedro. Kung alam lang siguro ng nanay ko kung anong mga larawan ang nakapaskil sa loob ng barbeyang iyon ay hindi niya ako papayagang magpagupit doon.

Meron pang hubad sa loob ng barberya. Ito ay ‘yung mamang barbero, na dahil siguro sa laging maalinsangan at mainit ang panahon ay ang saplot ay puruntung o pantalon lamang. Minsan ko lang yata siyang nakita na naka-Tshirt o naka-sando rin.

Pagkatapos kong gupitan ay papahiran ang aking batok at patilya ng berdeng tubig na hair tonic, sabay ang masahe sa leeg at balikat. Bubudburan din ako ng Johnson’s baby powder. Hindi na mapagkakailang galing sa barberya ang amoy ko.

Ngunit ang paborito kong bahagi pagkatapos kong tabasan ng buhok ay didiretso ako sa kadikit na tindahan. Hindi ako tatagay ng Tanduay dahil musmos na bata pa ako noon. Hanggang kalendaryo ng Tanduay lang ako. Ang gusto ko sa tindahan ay ang kanilang binebentang halo-halo.

Bagong kaskas ang yelo mula sa isang malaking bloke ng ice na bahagyang nakabalot sa sako ng bigas at mga ipa. Ang makukulay na sahog ng halo-halo ay dinudukot galing sa iba’t ibang garapon na nakahalera sa lamesitang kawayan. Ang gatas naman ay binubuhos mula sa binutas na lata ng ebaporada. Hindi sa baso inihahain ang halo-halo, kundi sa maliit na lumang bote ng Nescafe. Matapos kong manghimagas ng halo-halo ay kumpleto na ang pagbisita ko sa lumang barberya.

Ang pagbabalik tanaw pong to ay tunay na mga alaala at hindi po kwentong barbero lamang.

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Post Note: Bakit ba sinasabi natin na kwentong barbero o kutchero ang mga hindi kapani-paniwalang mga pangyayari? Bolero ba ang lahat ng mga barbero at kutchero?

Olympic Swimming Trial: Philippine Edition

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The Summer Olympics in Tokyo is now underway. The Philippines has sent 19 athletes to compete in the games. Among the delegates are swimmers.

Here’s the Philippines qualifying Olympic swimming trial:

(Video not mine. This just prove that the Filipino spirit is unsinkable despite the flooding calamity.)

Relyenong Bangus at Kapitbahay

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Linggo ng umaga. Tahimik at natutulog pa ang aming kapaligiran. Pero handa na kaming umpisahan ang bugbugan. Ito ang aming kwento.

Bagong lipat lamang kami sa apartment na iyon sa Morristown, New Jersey. Ito ay housing complex para sa mga residente na nagte-training sa hospital. Siguro ay mag-iisang taon pa lamang kami dito sa Amerika noon. Pero miss na miss na namin ang mga pagkaing Pilipino. Isa na rito ang relyenong bangus.

Noong panahon na iyon ay hindi pa uso ang Wi-Fi at hindi pa palasak ang internet. Halos kasing laki pa ng hollow blocks ang cellular phone kaya wala pa masyadong nagbibitbit nito at hindi pa naiimbento ang Youtube at Google. Kaya’t nang gusto naming alamin kung paano magluto ng relyenong bangus ay tumawag pa kami ng long distance (wala pang messenger at Viber noon) sa aming kamag-anak sa PIlipinas para magtanong.

Mga sangkap raw na kailangan sa relyenong bangus – malaking bangus (checked); bawang at sibuyas (checked); carrot, patatas, peas at pasas (checked); itlog at harina (checked); karayom at sinulid (huh?), hindi ito rekado pero kailangan ito para tahiin matapos naming i-surgery yung bangus (checked); at panghuli, martilyo (huh????). Hindi po namin ipapako yung bangus, pero para sa amin mainam na pang-bugbog ang martilyo ng bangus, para humiwalay ang laman nito sa balat. Pwede ring palo-palo o dos por dos, pero ang meron kami ay martilyo (checked).

At inumpisahan ko nang pukpukin ang bangus. Wala akong pakundangan sa aking pagbubugbog sa kawawang isda. Sige ang hataw. Sige ang hambalos. Sige ang bira ng martirlyo.

Maya-maya lang ay may kumakatok na sa aming pinto. Kami ay nakatira sa 3rd floor. Maninipis na dingding lang ang pagitan ng mga apartment, at tabla ang sahig nito, kaya madaling marinig ng kapitbahay kung ano man ang nangyayari sa kadikit na unit.

Inisip kaya nila na may unauthorized construction project kaming ginagawa? O baka naman iniisip nila na ginigiba namin ang aming unit? Inaakala kaya nilang hinampas ko ang aking asawa? O baka akala nila ay ako ang binubogbog ng aking misis?

Nang aming pagbuksan ang aming pinto, ay nakatayo sa aming harapan ang aming kapitbahay na nakatira sa 2nd floor na nasa ilalim ng aming unit. Pupungas-pungas pa ang kanyang mga mata, at mukhang galing pa sa duty. Siguro ay inaasam-asam niya ang matahimik na weekend at babawi sana siya ng tulog. Ngunit binulabog ng aming pukpukan ang kanyang pagkakahimbing. Namartilyo ang kanyang pagpapahinga.

Humingi kami ng paumanhin at nangakong hindi na kami mag-iingay. Pasalamat pa rin siya dahil hindi kami mahilig mag-Karaoke ng aking misis. Nangako rin kaming hindi na kami mag-bubugbugan. Ng isda, ang ibig kong sabihin.

Ang mga Pilipino nga naman na nasa ibayong bansa, lahat ay isusuong matikman lamang muli ang mga pinananabikang pagkain. May alam akong Pinoy na pinabababa ng eroplano dahil tinangka nitong magpuslit ng durian. Meron naman akong kakilala na nag-microwave ng baon niyang daing sa office breakroom. Dahil umalingasaw ang amoy, tumawag pa ng maintenace dahil akala ay may patay na daga sa kisame ng opisina. Meron din mga kwento ng mga Pilipino dito sa Amerika na nagprito ng tuyo sa kanilang apartment at na-trigger nito ang smoke alarm, kaya napa-evacuate pa ang buong apartment complex dahil akala ay may sunog.

Kung suguro naging OFW si Balagtas ay isusulat niya nito:

“O panlasang Pinoy, pag-nasok sa dila nino man, hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang.” (quote modified from Florante at Laura)

Nang umalis na ang aming kapitbahay, ay itinuloy pa rin namin ang aming paghahanda ng relyenong bangus. Walang building security, o fire alarm, o kahit kapitbahay ang makakapigil sa amin. Pero matahimik at mahinahon ko nalang na pinitik-pitik ang walang kalaban-laban na isda.

(*image from pilipinasrecipes.com)

Hayop Ka!

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I would like to highlight on this post some of the animal metaphors and expressions in our very rich and colorful Pilipino language.

I am hoping that after reading this you will blurt out “Hayop sa ganda!” rather than “Hayop ka!”

Kayod kalabaw

Kalabaw (carabao) is our national animal. It is our humble yet ever dependable work beast that does not seem to tire. So kayod kalabaw means to work very hard and tirelessly.

Example: Dahil dalawa ang anak ko ang nasa kolehiyo kaya’t kayod kalabaw ako para may pang-matrikula sila.

Kalabaw lang ang tumatanda

Even the ever dependent work beast will get old and become less useful in the farm field. But the above expression means that we can still achieve things even if we are of advanced age, and that age is just a number. Or maybe it is an opinion of our refusal to accept that we are growing old.

Example: Apo: “Lolo, hinay-hinay na po kayo sa pagsasaka.”

Lolo: “Hmmmp, kalabaw lang ang tumatanda.”

Hampas sa kalabaw, sa kabayo ang latay.

This Filipino saying (salawikain) means that someone else is suffering from another one’s whipping. For instance, someone is being punished for a wrong doing, but someone else is feeling the consequence.

Example: Nang tinaasan ang buwis sa mga malalaking negosyante ay tinaas din nila ang presyo ng serbisyo nila sa mamamayan, kaya hampas sa kalabaw, sa kabayo ang latay.

Matalino man ang matsing napaglalamangan din.

Loosely translated as cunning may be the monkey, yet it can still be tricked. This salawikain suggests that you can fight cunning with better cunning. Does this proverb expose the Filipinos ways of resulting to trickery and “abilidad?”

Example: Naisahan ko rin sa wakas ang kaibigan kong madaya, dahil matalino man ang matsing napaglalamangan din.

Palay na ang lumalapit sa manok

This expression means that a girl instead of the boy, is the one initiating the courtship. Though this may also mean an opportunity in general, that is knocking that you should grab.

Example: Pare, palay na ang lumalapit sa manok, tukain mo na ‘yan.

Basang sisiw

It is understandable that chicks are pretty helpless without their mother, who shelters them from harm, including getting wet from the rain. This expression means a pitiful condition or being abandoned.

Example: Para silang mga basang sisiw mula nang maghiwalay ang kanilang mga magulang at iwanan sila ng kanilang tatay.

Isang kahig, isang tuka

This metaphor means being poor and working just enough to have something to eat, or just enough to get by. In other words it is a hand to mouth existence.

Example: “Isang kahig, isang tuka, ganyan kaming mga dukha.” (lyrics from the song Dukha, original by Judas Band in the 70’s, and a recent remake by Aegis)

Binaboy

We all know how pigs are dirty in their natural state and they want to wallow in mud. This expression means to make something dirty or immoral. Could also mean to desecrate or disrespect.

Example: Binaboy ang ating gobyerno dahil sa mga asal ng ilan nating pulitiko.

Tupang ligaw

Literally it means lost sheep. It pertains to someone who have gone astray, especially in the spiritual context.

Example: Sabi ng simbahan ay hahanapin nila ang mga tupang ligaw.

Amoy kambing

This refers to somebody who smells bad or has a strong body odor. It is a known fact that goats don’t like rain or getting wet.

Example: Ang kaklase kong si Putok ang tamad maligo kaya amoy kambing.

Banal na aso, santong kabayo

This line came from the song in the 1990’s by Yano, a Filipino folk/punk rock band. It is literally translated as holy dog, saintly horse. But from the song it connotes religious hypocrisy, which is now the accepted meaning of the term.

Example: Rosario ka nang rosario pero napakachismosa mo naman, banal na aso, santong kabayo.

Asong ulol

In English it is translated as a mad dog or a rabid dog. The term is used to describe someone who is crazy or acting crazy. It also a title of a song by the band Backdraft in the 1990’s.

Example: Bangag na naman si Dagul kaya para siyang asong ulol.

Pusang gala

It literally means a stray cat. But it is an alternative expression or a play of words to the curse word “Put@ng ina!” without sounding too vulgar.

Example: Pusang gala! Tinangay ng pusa ang ating ulam na isda!

Mahirap pa sa daga

It means poor or condition of extreme poverty. I just wonder are mice really poor? Well, not Mickey Mouse.

Example: Mahirap pa sa daga ang kalagayan ng ibang katutubong tribo dito sa Pilipinas.

Pagputi ng uwak

It literally means when a black crow turns white. Thus it connotes something that will never happen.

Example: Pare, kailan mo ba babayaran ang utang mo sa akin, pagputi ng uwak?

Kalapating mababang lipad

This is a euphemism for a prostitute. But do you know where this expression came from?

During the American occupation, there is a place in Tondo Manila, which is a red-light district called Palomar. The word paloma means pigeon in Spanish, while palomar means a pigeon-house. So the women offering their leisure service were called palomas de bajo vuelo or low-class birds, thus the expression “kalapating mababa ang lipad.”

Example: Dahil lininis na ang Maynila kaya wala ng kalapating mababang lipad na naglipana sa Ermita.

Matang lawin

In English it is hawk-eyed. We know that hawk can spot a small prey on the ground even while it is flying high. So this expression means sharp-eyed, or someone who watches and notices everything that happens.

Since I’m in Iowa, this is also known as the Hawkeye state. So a Hawkeye in English may also mean a person born in Iowa or living in Iowa, USA. Go Hawkeye!

Example: Ang mga security guard sa bangko ay mga matang lawin.

Saan mang gubat may ahas

This means that in every place or situation there is always someone who will betray us.

Example: Mag-ingat ka sa mga katrabaho mo, dahil saan mang gubat may ahas.

Buwaya

A crocodile. It pertains to a person who takes advantage or preys on other people. Also used as a term to describe greedy or corrupt people. In basketball term, a ball-hog. During my basketball playing days, we call these ball-hog “ABC” – alligator, buwaya, crocodile.

Example: Ang daming mga buwayang nag-aabang sa Customs.

Butiking Pasay

This means a scrawny person. I don’t know why Pasay is used in the term. I went to school in Pasay City for several years and I can testify that the house lizards in Pasay are not more scrawny than any other city or place.

Example: Ang boyfriend ko ay sobrang payat, para siyang butiking Pasay.

Boses palaka

Frogs love to sing and are known to be noisy especially after the rain. But this term means someone who sings out of tune or not a good singer.

Example: Ang kapitbahay ko ang hilig magkaraoke, eh boses palaka naman.

Isdang tanga

This is a colloquial term to pertain to the ‘sardinas’ (sardines), which is a staple food of Filipinos especially now with the pandemic, as it is mostly included in the ‘ayuda’ that is being given by local baranggays and municipalities. We call them isdang tanga as we say these fish swim their way inside the can.

Example: Ang ulam namin ay ginisang isdang tanga.

Buhay alamang

Literally means life of a small shrimp. This expression means a life without certainty, or a poor life situation or without value. I don’t know about you but bagoong alamang is not without value in my opinion as it is indispensable to many Filipino dishes.

Example: Kawawa naman ang mga squatter sa Tondo, sila ay may buhay alamang.

Utak talangka

If you put several crabs in a bucket, they will claw their way pulling other crabs down in their effort to climb up to the top of the bucket. So this metaphor means trying to put others down or pulling down people who are making progress more than us.

Example: Sana naman tayong mga Pilipino ay maalis na ang ating pagkautak talangka.

Isang bulate na lang ang hindi pumipirma

This is a funny expression to describe a morbid condition. It means someone on his deathbed or almost dying.

Example: Ang aking tiyuhin ay buto’t balat na, isang bulate na lang ang hindi pumipirma.

Parang kiti-kiti

Kiti-kiti is mosquito larva. If you observe them, they are constantly wriggling in the water. So parang kiti-kiti means a person who cannot stop moving or cannot stay in one place. Just like kids with ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder).

Example: Ang anak kong bunso, sobrang likot, parang kiti-kiti.

Linangaw

Literally means to be infested with flies. It is an expression that an event has poor attendance, or an endeavor which is not supported by other people.

Example: Linangaw ang Miting de Avance ni Consehal Kupit dahil ayaw na siyang ibotong muli ng tao.

Pinutakte

Putakte are wasps or hornets in English. Pinutakte means to get swarmed, which is the opposite of linangaw. However the term though is not in a positive light, as wasps or hornets have stingers, so pinutakte has a connotation of being pestered with troubles.

Example: Pinutakte ng taghiyawat ang kanyang mukha.

Kutong Lupa

It literally means ground louse. It is a term used for annoying or irritating people, especially pertaining to troublesome children. Somebody you like to crush between your thumbnails (tiris) like a louse.

Example: Umuwi na kayo, kung hindi ay titirisin ko kayong mga kutong lupa!

Boses ipis

This literally means a voice of a cockroach. It suggest that of a soft or small voice. It is funny that we have this expression, but when we encounter a cockroach, especially if is airborne, it would evoke the loudest scream that the whole neighborhood could hear.

Example: Ang girlfriend ko ay sobrang hinhin at boses ipis, pero kapag nalasing ay parang marino kung magtungayaw.

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There you have it folks, until next time. If you know any more animal metaphor or expression, please leave me a comment. Thank you.

(*image taken from the web)


Pinagbuklod Muli

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Meron talaga para sa isa’t isa. Kung hindi ka naniniwala dito, ay basahin mo ang kwento kong ito.

May isang magkabiyak na aking kakilala, sila ay laging magkasama. Parati silang magkatambal sa lahat ng kanilang gawain. Araw at gabi, sila ay matatagpuang laging magkadikit. Walang panahon na hindi sila magkasama. Kung nasaan ang isa ay naroroon din ang isa, saan mang dako sila pumunta, kahit na sa Jollibee. Kung sila naman ay nasa bahay lang ay lagi silang magkabuklod. Iisa lang ang kanilang pakay. Kinukumpleto nila ang isa’t isa.

Ngunit isang mapanglaw na araw, napalayo ang isa sa kanila. Siya ay nawala na lang na parang bula. Hindi siya nagpaalam man lang. At kahit anong hanap sa kanya ay hindi siya matagpuan. Hinalughog na pati mga sulok ng kanilang pinupuntahang lugar, ngunit kahit anino nito’y hindi na nasilayan.

Labis na nalungkot ang naiwang kabiyak. Hindi na siya lumabas ng bahay. Nawalan na ng saysay ang kanyang mundo. Sa isip niya ay nawalan na ng pakay ang kanyang buhay. Wala na siyang silbing manatili pa. Siya ay kinalimutan na ng tadhana habang ang mundo ay patuloy pa rin sa pag-ikot. Wala ng kumukumpleto sa kanyang pagkakalikha.

Dumaan ang mga araw. Ang araw ay naging mga linggo. Ang mga linggo ay naging buwan, ngunit hindi pa rin bumabalik ang nawawalang kabiyak. Tunay kayang tapos na ang kanilang tambalan? Wala na kayang pag-asang sila’y magkasamang muli?

Ngunit sa hindi inaasahang pagpihit ng kapalaran, ay natagpuang muli ang umalis na kabiyak. Sa masayang pagkakataon ng buhay sila ay muling naging isa. Bumalik ang kanilang tambalan. Bumalik ang pakay at saysay ng kanilang buhay. Kinukumpleto muli nila ang isa’t isa.

Sila’y pinagbuklod muli.

Kaya’t huwag kang mawalan ng pag-asa aking kaibigan. Mayroon ding nakalaan para sa iyo. Darating din siya sa buhay mo. At kung siya man ay napalayo, babalik at babalik din siya sa iyo. Aabot din ‘yan sa simbahan.

lumang simbahan (photo taken with an iPhone)

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Ang kwentong ito ay hango mula sa kwento ng nawawala kong medyas. Sa matagal na panahon ay hindi namin makita ang isang kapares. Naipit lang pala ito sa likod ng washing machine. Buwisit!

The Cost of Caldereta

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How much trouble are you willing to go through just to taste a favorite dish? Here’s my story.

During our last visit to Northern California, the moment our plane landed at San Francisco Airport, the first thing my wife and I had in mind was to eat authentic Filipino food. Knowing that the Bay area is a hub for Filipinos and caters to the Filipino taste, we googled in our smart phone the list of Filipino restaurants around the area right after we got into our rental car.

We were not disappointed. There were several Filipino restaurants nearby and the nearest one in the airport was Goldilocks. We entered Goldilocks into our phone’s GPS and off we go.

However after several minutes of driving around in circles, the GPS told us that we have reached our destination but still needed to walk the rest of the way. It finally dawned on us the the Goldilocks restaurant that we were trying to go to was inside the airport terminal. So close and yet so far!

We then chose another Filipino restaurant to drive to, but we promised ourselves that when we fly back home, we will stop at the Goldilocks restaurant inside the airport terminal before we hop on our plane.

The restaurant that we ended up going to was a local restaurant in Daly City, a few miles away from the airport. Our tastebuds were satisfied and we had our fill with the bulalo and the kare-kare that we ordered. We also ordered sago at gulaman for our drink and top off our meal with bibingka for desert.

We stayed in San Francisco for a day (see photos from previous post) and jaunted around the “city by the bay,” and we even rode the historic and iconic cable car (short video below). But the reason of our travel to California was to attend a conference in Monterey, which was 120 miles south of San Francisco. The drive was more than 2 hours, but it could be scenic though if you drive through Route 1, also known as the Pacific Coast Highway. And that’s what we did.

The lodging and the food was provided for free in that conference that we attended. The food was plentiful, delicious, and healthy. But it was not Filipino food.

After the weekend conference, we drove back to San Francisco Airport. We gave ourselves ample time so we could stop by Goldilocks before our flight home.

Once we checked-in and dropped off our checked-in bags, we went through airport security. After we were inside the secured area of the airport terminal, we learned that Goldilocks restaurant was located in terminal 1, while we were in terminal 2 which was the location of the gate where our flight would depart. The bad news was these 2 terminals were not connected at all!

We had to exit terminal 1 to get to terminal 2 which involved a fair distance of walking. This also meant we went through airport security again to enter terminal 1, and we had to take our shoes off, our jackets, and went through scans again, not to mention the long line we had to navigate just to get through security. We knew all along that we would need to go through this same tedious process when we go back to terminal 2 to catch our plane.

But what does a hungry Filipino expat do? When the hankering for a certain Filipino food summons you, you need to answer it regardless of all the hurdles you needed to clear, even going through airport security 3 times just to taste Goldilocks beef caldereta. If I have to cross 7 mountains or 7 rivers I might do it too.

Was it worth the trouble? Definitely. I just wish we could savor it a little slower and a little longer, but time was not on our side. Yet it satisfied the craving of this hungry Pinoy expat.

Goldilocks at San Francisco Airport (photo taken with an iPhone)

Did I mention also that we missed our flight? Yes we did! However we were able to re-booked on the next flight which was 2 hours later from our original scheduled flight.

So what’s the cost of tasting caldereta? You tell me.

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Extra: Here’s a short clip of our cable car ride going through a hilly street in San Francisco.

Please Come Home For Christmas

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Many popular songs about Christmas is about going home for the holidays. Like Please Come Home for Christmas” (written by Charles Brown, with cover by The Eagles and more recently Kelly Clarkson), “I’ll be Home for Christmas” (sang originally by Bing Cosby with recent cover by Michael Bublé), “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” (originally sang by Darlene Love with a more recent cover by Mariah Carey), and “There’s No Place Like Home For the Holidays” (written by Al Stillman, with a more popular cover by Perry Como and The Carpenters). Maybe you know more songs with the same theme.

The message is clear from these songs that home is where you want to be for Christmas. Who wouldn’t be?

I have now lived half of my life away from the home I once knew. Yes, half of my life I have spent away from my home country, the Philippines. In the more than two decades I have been away, only twice have I come home for Christmas. It is not that I don’t want to, but getting at least a 2-week break to travel back home for the holidays is not easy to get. In addition, the airplane ticket during Christmas time is almost double the cost compared to low season airfare, though there’s no question that it is worth it. Last year could have been the third, but COVID pandemic derailed my plan to visit the Philippines for the Christmas season.

Since I have been away from my “home” for so long, I have called where I am now my new home. After living in Manila for 27 years, and then in New Jersey for 3 years, New York City for 3 years, California for about a year, and Florida for 3 years, I have settled down here in Iowa for 17 years now and counting. This is where I had my own family, had my own home where my children grew up in, and where new happy memories have been created.

Here in Iowa is where I made my own family traditions for Christmas. Like going to a tree farm and having a freshly cut Christmas tree every year. We also enjoy decorating our home for the holidays, making gingerbread house, and baking cookies with my kids. We are thrilled as well to have white Christmas and to frolic in the snow, though shoveling snow to clear the driveway is not fun. I also cherish the moment my children open their gifts on Christmas morning and see the excitement in their eyes.

Though I would not be true to myself if I say that I am not missing Christmas in the Philippines, with children caroling in the street, and the puto bumbong and bibingka, and me hunting my ninong and ninang. On second thought, I am the ninong now, so I’ll be the one who will be hunted.

This year however is quite different. It is the first time that both of our kids have left home. One is in graduate school while the other one is in college, both living in their own apartment or dorm. We are officially empty nesters. How did time sneak up on us?

When we put up our holiday ornaments with the Christmas tree and all, a couple of weeks back, it was kind of lonely as it was just me and my wife setting up the decorations. No kids helping hang the trimmings on the tree. No more little ones making gingerbread house or baking cookies. No one dancing to the Mannheim Steamroller “Christmas.” And nobody is even practicing Christmas songs on the piano.

Is this what our Christmas would be now?

If it is just me and my wife, you might ask, do we even have to decorate for Christmas? The answer is yes. Firstly, it makes our home joyful and bright for the season. Secondly, we will have friends from other states staying with us for the holidays as for some reason they would like to experience an Iowa Christmas. Lastly and most importantly, our hearts are happy knowing that both of our kids will be coming home and spending time with us for a few days.

For this Christmas, we will be under one roof, in front of one Christmas tree, and around one dinner table, gathered together as a family once more.

Our Christmas tree this year

Whether you are coming home or not for this holidays, may you have a meaningful Christmas and a hopeful New Year.

The Treasured Divisoria Dress

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People can go overboard in spending money for their wedding. That’s quite understandable as it is a significant event in a person’s life. After all you only get married once. Or twice, or thrice…..sorry, I digress.

One of the items that people will splurge on is their wedding gown. For instance, Vickie Belo’s gown created by Michael Cinco cost 8M pesos per news report. My wife’s wedding gown? Not quite that expensive. Michael Cinco? No, Cinco Sentimos.

My wife and I had a simple wedding. So simple that we held it in our home in Sampaloc, Manila with only a handful of guests to witness the event. Less than 6 hours before the ceremony we were still in the streets scouring the stores and malls for her dress and shoes that she would wear for the wedding.

I just started my medical residency training in the US at that time. After a couple of months of being away from home, it made me realize how I missed my family, but more importantly my then girlfriend that I left in the Philippines. I also realized that I really love her and wanted to begin our lives together and not apart. So I decided to take a 10-days off (that’s all we were allowed for vacation per year when I was an intern) and I went back home and got married. A flight from JFK Airport in New York City to NAIA in Manila was 17 hours, not including the layovers, so I really had a short time to spend in the Philippines. But sufficient enough to get married.

Our plans for the wedding ceremony was quick but purposeful. With limited financial resources the event needed to be modest, something that would not break the bank. In fact, there was not even a bank to break. For us the outward ceremony is not as important than the journey that we would take together for the rest of our lives.

But we were able to arrange a simple event. We don’t want to burden our family in food preparation, so we got a catering service. Well, if you are feeding only about 25 people it was not that much. One friend of ours was kind enough to decorate our house for the event for free, and she even arranged a bouquet for my wife. Her husband sang “Our Father” during the wedding. A nephew played the piano. Another friend took photos for us to keep. Then we have my wife’s brother who was a minister to officiate the wedding. However he found out hours before the ceremony that his license was expired so he drag his friend who was also a minister to do it instead. If he did not find out in time, our wedding would have been invalid for the officiating minister was unlicensed!

So back to the wedding dress that my wife wore that day. As I mentioned earlier, few hours before the wedding, we were still looking for a dress that she could wear. We went to the mall but we did not find any. That’s when we headed to Divisoria to take our chances. And eureka, we found the dress!

The dress was inexpensive yet it does not seem cheap. It is simple yet elegant. And when my bride wore it later that day during our wedding, I thought she looked like a million dollars. It was her smile and her glow that radiated beyond the dress – it was priceless.

After the wedding ceremony we were dropped by my friend to the Philippine Rabbit’s bus terminal to catch a ride to Baguio for our honeymoon. Two days later we were back in Manila. The next day after that, I was aboard on a plane for the flight back to the US, leaving my newly-wed bride behind. Good thing was that two months later, after visa processing, my wife was able to come to the US and join me.

What we had was really a whirlwind wedding. I blinked and it was over. It was just like a dream.

That was 27 years ago now. And we are still living the dream. Our marriage bond is stronger than ever.

A couple of nights ago as we were celebrating with our children and looking at our wedding photos, my daughter asked where is the wedding dress now. We told her that we still have it in our closet, more precious than Valentino, Chanel, or other company that it keeps. She was interested to see it. My wife told her to try it on and she happily did.

My daughter wearing her mom’s dress

Now my daughter would like to keep it as she said she could wear it for some other occasions. Besides it is not a “traditional” wedding dress.

Seeing my daughter in that dress brought a flood of memories to me. I saw in her, her mother 27 years ago, beaming in that Divisoria dress.

Bundok at Niyog

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Sino ang mas matayog?

(*photo taken with an iPhone)

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